overthinking it.

15 Feats That Are Easier to Achieve Than Getting My Toddlers to Eat


The truth about toddlers is they need their independence. Sure, it’s a good thing. I mean, you don’t want to raise a kid that has separation anxiety at 24 years old and hisses whenever they see sunlight.

Still, independence can be a huge road block when it comes to daily tasks. For example, you want your child to get dressed. Your child, who knows they are independent from you, doesn’t want to put on anything but a pair of underwear on their head. Maybe a pair on yours too. And that’s what they do.

For whatever reason, the biggest challenge in our household has been getting our toddlers to eat—and not wear underwear on their head. Some days, this is a nearly impossible task. When it comes down to getting my toddlers to eat when they don’t want to, few things seem harder. “Why is it so hard to get you to eat?” I ask them. Often they reply with, “Look, Mommy! I’m a kitty. Meeeeeow.” After they throw a pea at my forehead and run out of the room on all fours, I throw my hands in the air, surrendering to defeat.

So, maybe you are asking yourself, or me, what is easier than getting my toddlers to eat?

  1. Exploring space.
  2. Creating a vaccine in 24 hours.
  3. Taking apart a car engine and putting it back together again.
  4. Getting a photo of a pregnant Eva Mendes.
  5. Teaching your corgi how to speak Spanish.
  6. Potty training a butterfly.
  7. Understanding the psychology that is the Kardashian Phenomenon.
  8. Learning to play piano in 45 seconds.
  9. Doing open heart surgery with a major in philosophy and a minor in Dance.
  10. Building a working Boeing jet with tape, glue, and a toy wrench.
  11. Herding cattle. On stilts. With no depth perception.
  12. Surviving Naked and Afraid.
  13. Diapering a feral cat.
  14. Getting my husband to change the toilet paper roll.
  15. Cleaning the green-colored tarnish off the statue of Liberty, with a toothbrush.

At least I can take comfort in the fact that if parenting doesn’t work out for me, I can always seek solace in a second career. Exploring space, perhaps. I hear it’s very quiet there. Maybe going to a remote island, naked and afraid, where I can specialize in potty training the native insect life.

Anything is easier.

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