overthinking it.

21 Days of Insanity


I recently signed up to try out the 21 Day Fix. Mostly I was lured in by the idea of drinking shakes as a whole meal. The idea of exercise didn’t cross my mind much. I mean, I’ve tried 30 Day Shred. How tough could this be?

“Let’s do this!” the box instructed at me. “Okay, then.” I silently agreed. “Let’s.”

I got my package in the mail and ran downstairs to get my first workout in before my kids woke up from naps. It’s Monday. So, according to the workout calendar, I’d be doing the Total Body Cardio Fix DVD—or as I like to call it, “lambs to the slaughter.”

My thoughts during this 30-minute workout?

  1. If they went a little slower, I could feel less jiggle.
  2. I’m not doing any of these right.
  3. My hand-eye coordination sucks.
  4. I hate the clock. Why is it even there? It would be better to just not know. I don’t need to know.
  5. OMG, I still have 30 seconds left. Thirty seconds is forever.
  6. My balance sucks.
  7. I can’t breathe!
  8. What the hell did I just sign myself up for?
  9. How are they moving so fast?
  10. I need a way better bra for this.
  11. Oh good, a 20-second break. I need to find my lung.
  12. I’m way too tired to care how small those portion containers are.
  13. How did I get to round four?
  14. This frog crunch would be a lot easier if I could just lay here.
  15. Is my back supposed to crack this much when I stretch like this?
  16. How am I going to get back upstairs when this is done?
  17. I think my breathing dislocated my diaphragm.
  18. I still can’t breathe.
  19. I need a beer.
  20. Is 21 days over yet?

I plan to see this through the next 20 days. Not because I like a challenge, but because I need some new writing material. After today, I don’t see how there will be any shortage of material I can use to make fun of myself. Also, the waistband on my jeans are bearing the burden of my over-fluffed muffin top. It’s a big job, folks. My pants can only handle so much.

So, let’s do this.

Well, I’ll do this.

Tomorrow and the next day and even the day after that. I’ll drink my shakes for breakfast and remember a time—three weeks ago—when I thought 30 Day Shred was tough. I’ll try not to think too much about tomorrow, though. Because if that was 30 Day Shred, this is probably going to be more like 21 Day Annihilation. See #8.

It’s a good thing the shakes are really good.

© Copyright Christina Antus, 2015.

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