I’ve always wanted to try Pilates. Last week I had my chance to do a 30-minute session in the comfort of my own home. Soothed by the relaxing sounds of toddlers mooing and crawling around the carpet next to me. Because that’s exactly what cows do. They moo and crawl.
Anyway, I discovered a few things about myself, besides having an incredible tolerance for repetitive mooing sounds, mooed in various pitches. Also:
- I’m not strong. My body isn’t meant to fold in half.
- Planking is a very real thing that hinders your ability to eat a cupcake.
- The last time I was able to lift my leg that high was when I was four months old.
- I don’t like Pilates.
- A 400-year old oak tree trunk has more flexibility than I do.
- Pilates is not physically possible.
- Cupcakes would never ask this of me.
- I’ve never seen the human body do any of these things in real life. Except by my two-year-old.
- The only way I can do this move is if I put a super strong magnet on my stomach and a piece of metal in my shoe.
- Pilates was so much more enticing when I thought it was a French dessert.
I didn’t say what I learned was deep and insightful. Maybe my kids are right. Mooing and crawling around in the carpet seems like a much more fun way to burn off breakfast. And that cupcake I ate, instead of planking.
© Copyright Christina Antus, 2015.