Starsky and Hush

We spent ten dollars on three tokens at the fair so our four-year-old could accidentally win a seventy-five cent goldfish. We didn’t think she’d actually win one. If we did, we would have redirected her back towards the petting zoo because that was free, and who doesn’t like to have a goat chew on their […]

Bedtime: How My Toddlers Avoid It

I don’t know what bedtime is like at your house, but in my house everyone under four feet tall gets a huge surge of energy an hour before they’re supposed to go to bed. Ironically no one ever uses this energy to clean up their toys. This surge is so powerful it’s the same as […]

Don’t Make Me Count to Three

Don’t make me count to three. Because I have no idea what to do when I get there. There’s no “one…two… two and a half…” in this house because I’m not a fan of fractions. Let’s face it, using percentages to get to three would unnecessarily complicate things. In this house, there’s just a lot of slow counting. There’s […]

What My Toddler Hears

If Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, then toddlers must be from a completely different solar system. I often wonder if my toddlers and I are speaking the same language. We’re not, but when I have 45 seconds to myself I like to waste it by pondering about things I can’t do […]